Weekly Gripe #1: Judging Our Private Marriages via Public Ones
Welcome to H.D.'s Weekly Gripe. Right here is where I'll display things I've either observed on social media, in the news or just something that's just on my mind. I get a chance to really say how I really feel. Warning: This is my opinion and a lot of my opinion will be based on the real facts that I researched. Now onto the gripe.
Last year, we were introduced to the drama that is Will and Jada Smith though artist August Alisina whom allegedly had an affair with Jada Pinkett Smith. Then, the artist wrote a song about it calling it Entanglements. Some of you may read while many of you who says "who cares"? Before I really get into it, let me say if you didn't care, why bother even responding to the blog article in the first place.
After the alleged affair both Will Smith and his wife both appeared on Jada's Red Table Talk to discuss the issue that's now out and has reached the court of public opinion. After that discussion, a lot of people believed it was a done deal but unfortunately, that didn't settle right with me. It sounded more like a public relations representative or a company like Judy Smith's company (the woman whom Olivia Pope was based on) gave them a checklist on what to do.
We all lived our lives, voted, griped about the election, worked to be safe from Covid-19 and griped about vaccinated vs. unvaccinated. We didn't know this would all come up again until she spoke with actress Gwenyth Paltrow on her Red Table Talk speaking candidly about her and Mr. Smith's sex life with the actress.
“It’s hard. The thing Will and I talk about a lot is the journey. We started in this at a very young age, you know, 22 years old," she reportedly said. “That’s why the accountability part really hit for me because I think you expect your partner to know [what you need], especially when it comes to sex.”
That is what you all heard because folks love their soundbytes. However, the problem with sounbytes is they are just a small fraction of what the person said. That's often why I get upset when many of you react to one line of what someone said when it may be a part of a bigger speech. They could have meant something completely different and it it something that some media outlets (not all [especially the more responsible ones]) will have you believe that's what someone said.
In the event of the Smith couple, this is not all that was said. Will Smith told GQ Magazine, “Jada never believed in conventional marriage.… Jada had family members that had an unconventional relationship. So she grew up in a way that was very different than how I grew up. There were significant endless discussions about, what is relational perfection? What is the perfect way to interact as a couple? And for the large part of our relationship, monogamy was what we chose, not thinking of monogamy as the only relational perfection,”
Now that I've heard everyone's feedback, here is mine.
I heard Jada Pinkett-Smith shouldn't be labeled as a villain to Will should be more understanding and others. I even heard that Will has had his share of affairs and stories as ridiculous as Will Smith was one of Jeffrey Epstein's clients. You "I heard" people need to get a life or do research beyond hearing the rumors of other folks.
I personally haven't heard about Will being with anyone while married to Jada but that doesn't mean he has or hasn't but that's none of my business. My point here is to stop the hypocrisy. Not naming names but there are a few who are trying to make Jada into a victim in which she's not. I don't even think Will is a victim. However, that makes some of you look like hypocrites. If it was Will who got into "entanglements" and told Jada sex was awkward and it was his idea to have an open marriage, a lot of you would talk about how much of a dog he was. Many of you would be calling him the "typical male". Even if he was honest about everything, he still would receive backlash.
For example, in 2009 when the Tiger Woods scandal happened after his car crash, he was accused of affairs with multiple women. He was dropped by various sponsors became a pariah to his community and a lost a few friends over it. In the court of public opinion, he was labeled as the typical cheater. Besides the fact he's male, he was also put into the same box all cheating men go through. Even when he admitted to having an addiction to sex and sought help, people still made fun of him. He not only admitted his issue, he sought help, he was still made to look like a joke.
The hypocrisy ends for me with Jada. I'm not saying folks should be lined up to attack her but she's not a victim either. She does need to own up to what she's done so her and Will can move past this if they choose to do so. If Will himself feels he is a victim, then he needs to do what he needs to do for his sanity because we're also ignoring the fact this behavior takes its toll. Women cheat and men cheat. As wrong as cheating is, I'm tired of the men vs. women.
When relationships break down, end or reach a certain point, we need to all come to terms with ourselves individually.
How happy are we in our marriages?
What role could we have possibly played in the breakdown of your relationship?
Why do you think your significant other cheated on you?
By no way am I a marriage counselor but we shouldn't let celebrities dictate how our marriages go nor should we judge marriages we see in the headlines. You are allowed to have your own opinions but unless you know something to completely be true, that's all it is.
Notice, I didn't mention Tupac Shakur, Chris Kelly of Kriss Kross or anything in relation because that crosses the realm of speculation. I started this blog out by saying all of my opinions based on facts. She's never come out publicly about her feelings for Mr. Shakur or her affair with Chris Kelly plus neither man can air their side of the story. So it's best to leave it alone.