Two Case Studies In What A Man Is & Isn't.
I have two very unscientific case studies in what a man is and what a man isn't because I'm so tired of folks who try to force what being a man is when they don't even add the responsibilities with being one.
I want to first talk about the father who turned in his son after a double shooting at St. Louis' Galleria Mall in Clayton. When we are young, our parents and other adults are supposed to teach us right from wrong. Then there is that one or many male figures who are supposed to guide your path. Whether it's a father or another male figure (because not everyone has an actual father in their lives), we get our guidance from somewhere.
Then we get those dads who pass on irresponsibility to their sons. Without getting into detail being a man isn't just playing sports and how to fight when attacked, it's also about responsibility in which very few are ready for that conversation. Thursday July 23 Jaron L. Lemmett was charged with a double shooting near Dillard's Department Store at the St. Louis Galleria. He was identified by his father who saw the surveillance footage which led to his arrest. There was a lot of criticism as to the man's character. Many claimed he betrayed his son with the black community's "no snitching" rule.
I've always taken issue with that rule because it has flaws. Also, those who "don't snitch" are usually the ones taking blame for others' crimes and end up doing the bid while the person you didn't snitch on is doing their best life and nine times out of ten, not even thinking about you nor would have done the same for you. In fact, they'd snitch to get themselves free leaving you.
The more serious flaw comes to those who lose their lives in the crossfire, especially the youngest of us. Folks won't even cooperate to give grieving parents some peace. Yes, I do understand that there are dangerous implications to those who snitch and there's no guarantee to remain anonymous. It's a gamble but life is a gamble in itself. Lemmett's father wanted to give the family of 21 year old Jaquan Steed some closure because he felt that if his son was on the other end of that gun, he'd want the same closure. Despite criticisms folks made it seem like it was easy for this man to turn in his own son. A man with sons of my own can't even and don't even want to imagine being in that situation and pray every day I don't have to.
I pray for Lemmett, his father, Jaquan Steed, his family and the other victims involved to all receive closure in this situation.
The next one is not so serious to most but highly serious to me because it involves a female assaulted and everyone taking the man's side.on the situation. I'm talking about the Megan Thee Stallion shooting incident. Megan Thee Stallion, a Houston rapper was with Tory Lanez in his limousine. While neither will say what happened, Megan ended up shot in the foot. Besides Lanez, possibly the limo driver was in the car. Lanez claims he didn't shoot but in fact he was protecting her and no one else is talking...except the internet.
What we do know as fact is, Megan was shot. She had to have surgery. Now yes, you know all this so let me get to the point. There are rumblings throughout the internet the somehow Megan was the aggressor. Many started rumors about an argument gone bad. Police have since arrested Lanez for having an unregistered weapon but not for the actual shooting. Here's my problem. Megan was the only one injured and all people can ask is "What did she do?" like she deserved to be shot. Just like here in St. Louis, what situation other than your life being in danger warrant you to pull a gun and shoot someone.
Many folks made parallels to the movie Harlem Nights, more specifically the fight scene between Eddie Murphy and Della Reese where the fight ended with Ms. Reese being shot in her pinkie toe. That was a comedy and even then Richard Pryor's character tried to explain to Eddie Murphy's character how wrong he was. However, this is not a movie and real consequences can come up from this. I don't know either of these musicians, in fact, I had to ask my kids about them when I heard the story. My problem is I don't understand the whole blaming the victim mentality.
Let's say for the sake of argument, she was acting in an aggressive manner. There were other options. Walking away or calling the police (which the latter isn't the most manly move either but it's an option that helps you in the long run). It's a move that would have helped Chris Brown during the Rihanna affair in which we still blame her for the incident. Why do we care because this happens to nonfamous people and a lot of time we don't give the men passes in this situation, why does it matter because they make a million dollars or more.
Now you can also care you don't care about any of this. I pray you don't have to be in a situation where you have to turn a family member into the police or a situation where a family member is mysteriously shot but those situations do happen and when they do, I pray the right thing is done in each situation.